July 22, 2014


How I think my trip to Las Vegas and New York will go

Part III


This is part III of a story. Start from part I here first or this will not make sense.






"Where have you been?" I asked her.


"I was just finishing my hair. Why didn't you get the ice?"


"Uh-oh, someone is in trouble," Arnold said. Bruce and The Rock cracked up.


"Oh brother," I said. "Let's just enjoy the show."


The new show was excellent. Much better than the night before. It was a fun day but I had to admit I was happy to be finally going home tomor-----


The room went black. I felt a buzzing on my head.



"SIMULATION COMPLETE." A loud expressionless, Siri-like voice vibrated into my ears.



What felt like a helmet and headphones were pulled off my head. I don't remember wearing any helmet.


"You did excellent, Mr. Gormley," a man's voice said. "Far better than any of us ever expected."


The room lit up as the helmet was fully lifted off. I looked around and it appeared as I was in an interrogation room of some sorts. There were two men in suits. Agents, I assumed. For what must've been some kind of top secret project involving myself. Behind them was a two-way mirror. I knew it was a two-way because I was in a police line-up in Wales once.


"This was your final test, sir," The Agent on the right said.


"Who are you guys?" I asked. "Where am I?"


"Are- are you serious, Mr. Gormley?" The Agent on the left asked in a concerned manner.


"Yes, what happened?" I was confused. "I was just in Las Vegas and New York."


"Mr. Gormley, no you weren't. That was all a test. You won the WHDH Blue Man Group Talent Contest with flying colors, but you never ended up actually accepting the prize."


"What?" I didn't believe him. "But it felt so real!"


"Yes, it's called the Oculus Rift." He showed me the head device.




"Well that's a pretty stupid name."


"Sir, we searched everywhere in the world for someone with unique skills such as yours. We put together this simulation to see how you would do in this type of situation. Hundreds have been through it, but you're the only one who's been able to beat the Sandler."


"Wait, so does this mean I'm not going to Las Vegas?" I was getting irritated.


"The contest was last year, Mr. Gormley. It's July 2014."


"Whaaaaaaat! July of 2014! That means I can drink again! Let's go get some beers!" I chose not to drink for all of 2013 as a challenge. A challenge I conquered apparently.


I followed the Agent on the left's eyes down to the table in front of me. It was covered in empty beer cans. There must've been around twenty.


"Well you can't blame me," I said. "I didn't drink for a whole year!"


"Yeah, you mentioned that," Agent Roberts said. It was all coming back to me. How I got here, who they were, why they needed me....


"I'm Agent Roberts and this is my partner Matthew Smith."


"Mr. Gormley," Agent Smith started, "You are here-"


"Because you guys work for the CIA and need me for a top secret mission that only someone like myself could accomplish because I'm so good at adapting to dangerous situtations with a limited supply of resources." I said very sarcastically.


"So you remember?" Agent Smith asked.


There was a tapping on the two-way mirror. Agent Roberts got up, opened the door and went outside.


"You were the only person who's ever passed that test," Agent Smith went on. "We've set up Blue Man Group contests all over the globe in search of someone like you. The Blue Men are very important to us."


Agent Roberts came back in. "It's time, Mr. Gormley. You've got a phone call." He handed me a stupid iPhone.


It was the President.




"Now Mark...you've proven...to be...of extreme importance to this country...."


"Tell me something I don't know, Obamalama."


Agent Smith, Roberts and The 44th President started cracking up.


"Haha, I'll have to remember that one, Mark." Obama continued. "But seriously...my two finest Agents...are there with you right now.... They're going to take you to meet me for a...debriefing.... I'll see you soon."


"Cool, man." I got up and immediately fell to the floor. It must've been the twenty beers I just drank. The two Agents helped me up and I was walking again by the time I got out to the SUV.




"Mr. Gormley, step on in." It looked just like GTA. I sat in the back and we drove off. Agent Smith was driving and Roberts in the back with me. I started thinking about this top secret mission. What could it be? Was I really that qualified for something so important I had to meet with President Obalama? I chuckled to myself.


"OH SHIT!" Agent Smith screamed.


We were T-Boned by another SUV. The world was spinning. It felt like slow motion yet we were rolling over at 50mph. I was wearing a seatbelt so of course I was fine. Agents Smith and Roberts were not so lucky. Their bodies were flailing like ragdolls until we finally came to a stop.


"You guys okay?" I tried yelling but couldn't get the words out loud enough. I had a terrible headache and could barely hear anything. "Don't move your necks!"


"No!" Agent Smith screamed again.


I could hear angry voices outside coming closer and closer. Then gunshots as Agent Smith screamed yet again. This time in pain. Because he was dead.


"Smith!" Roberts reached for his 9 and pulled it out. Right before he could get a shot off he was shot in the face. Blood splatteredd all over the inside of the SUV. What a mess.


The foreign man was yelling at his partner in their native language. It was Asian, but I couldn't tell which language. Three more men jumped out of another black SUV. They pulled me out and I felt a wack on the back of my head. I didn't pass out. Then another wack. I still didn't pass out.


"You're gonna have to do better than that, assholes. I'm drunk." A third wack and I passed out.


I woke briefly in their SUV. While blindfolded, I could hear them speaking and listened closely. One.... two.... three.... I heard them count and knew what language they were speaking.


"Hey, who's having a birthday party? Where's the piñata?" I tried to get a rise out of them. I felt another wack on the front of my head.


It felt like days had passed. I was sitting in a chair in the middle of a shiny basketball court. It was dark.




The blindfold had been removed but I still had a hard time seeing.


"Where are we?' A voice asked from behind me. I smiled because I noticed the voice. I turned my body around but didn't get up. It was The Rock. He was handcuffed behind his back sitting in a chair.


"Beats me," answered a handcuffed Bruce Willis sitting right next to him. My smile grew wider. We were sitting in a sort of triangle facing away from each other. I looked to his side expecting to see Arnold. But he wasn't there.


"Where's Arnold?" I asked them both.


"Who the hell are you?" Bruce Willis asked.


"Wait a minute," The Rock said cheerfully. "Mark Gormley? From the commercial?"


"Guilty," I said smiling. "I just took some test with you guys and now here I am!"


"I sure hope you passed that test, Gormley," Bruce Willis was quite serious. "Things are going to be different than that scenario. Our government was only able to get bits and pieces of information from their spies. They set up a test the best they could with as many details as possible." I was losing interest. Although he kept on going and explained it in a way that made enough sense. "But seriously you blew away your competition. Did you eat that apple after you murdered it?"


This was all too familiar. I was starting to understand what they tested me for. But Bruce was so cute waiting for an answer I just had to give in. "Yes, it was delious."


"Aww, I bet," Rocky said. "Gotta have your fruits and vegetables." He started looking around the large room. We all did. "This looks like a sports arena."


"Yeah, no shit," Bruce said in a demeaning manner. "It's a basketball court, dumbass."


"This basketball court looks familiar, guys. I think I know where we are."


They both gave me a stern stare. The Rock was giving me the most serious People's Eyebrow I had ever seen. "Tell The Rock where we are."


"I think we're in... North Korea."




"Vewy good, Mista Gormrey." Kim Jong-un, leader of North Korea, walked slowly out of the darkness onto the basketball court.




"How did you know?"


"Your thugs counted in front of me on the way to the birthday party. And this is the same basketball court that was in that episode of Vice on HBO."


"What the hell do you want with us, Jong-un?" Bruce Willis asked angrily.


"Patience, McCrane," Jong-un backed away into the darkness. He left us alone on the free throw line on the other side of the court. Seconds later, a basketball shot out of the darkness and hit Bruce Willis hard in the face.


"OWWW!" Bruce was hurt. "What the hell did I do to deserve that?" The basketball stopped about ten feet away.


I stood up, as I was not handcuffed for some reason. Then another basketball shot out of the dark, hitting The Rock right in the nose.


"AHHHH!" His nose was broken. "My nose is broken!"


The ball rolled but I caught up to it and picked it up. Then I ran towards the other. I was gathering ammunition.


A third basketball shot out of the dark, hitting Bruce in the face again. He screamed in pain and started wheeping.


"What do you get when you cwoss The Wock and Bwuce Willis?" Yelled Jong-un from the darkness.


"Two very well respected actors!" I yelled back. I thought it would cheer them up.


"A shitty attempt at saving G.I. Joe!" A fourth basketball shot out of the dark. It was going right for The Rock's broken nose. A big F-U to The Rock for 'Pain and Gain.' I threw the basketball I had in my hand and deflected it away. The sound echoed throughout the stadium.


"Well, well, well." Kim Jong-un walked back out of the darkness. "Look who wants to pray." Jong-un rolled out a cart full of basketballs.




He picked one out of the cart and the war began.


"Free the North Korean people, Jong-un!" I yelled at him as he picked out his first rubber bullet.


"The are fwee," he said laughing sarcastically. "Pretty soon, you'll be fwee too!" He lunged a basketball at an amazing speed directly at me. I hurled one and deflected it away.


"This is silly, Jong-un, let's have a sit down and talk about this." I was nervous because I hadn't played a single game of basketball in years.


"Sirrrry.... No THIS IS NORTH KOWEAAAA!" He went at me in full force. Tossing every basketball in the cart any way he could. He was throwing, kicking, drop-kicking, left-handed throwing. This man clearly had issues. But for each basketball thrown my way, there was another one thrown in the opposite direction, each being deflected right at halfcourt. Looks like I wasn't rusty after all. Either way, I had never seen anyone this athletic. He couldn't have possibly learned this by himself. The last basketball came towards me. I threw one and missed. It hit me right in the gut. I went down.


"How did you learn all that?" I was trying to buy time before my certain basketball doom. "There's no way you learned that from YouTube."


"YouTube...hahaha," He laughed at me. "I have someone I want you to meet." A tall being walked out of the darkness behind him. It was a very unattractive female in a wedding dress.




"This is my wife, Dennis Wodman." The Rock, Bruce Willis and I stared at each other. "Isn't he pwetty?" Bruce Willis threw up.


"What in the holy hell?" I said aloud while on my hands and knees.


"Did you think he was coming here just to talk about basketball?" Jong-un explained. "He's been secwetry twaining me for years. He said I could pray in the NBA...."


"You're a traitor to your country, Rodman!" I shouted. "And you've gone completely bonkers!" Bruce Willis and The Rock agressively agreed.


"Yeah, but he's a nice guy," Dennis Rodman chimed in, still in his wedding dress. "And he's kinda cute, too.... We just got married earlier today." Bruce Willis threw up again.


"I think we could use some music to righten the mood," Jong-un said as if he wanted to show me something. He then clapped his hands twice. A spotlight lit up and pointed behind him to a few rows up in the arena. It was the Blue Man Group. All three of them were chained together with their musical pipes all around them. I could see the torture and sadness in their eyes. They were all looking right at me. 'Help us' was mouthed out of one of them. It was sincere.


"Begin!" Jong-un commanded them. They started playing that song they play in commercials. It was actually pretty cool. I always loved that song. I got back up and picked up a basketball. Jong-un had his ready to fire.


"It's time to end this!" I yelled towards them. Rodman said something in support of Kim Jong-un. The North Korean leader then released his basketball. I quickly threw mine as well. They launched towards each other in slow-motion. The balls were getting closer and closer as The Blue Man Group played in the background. The balls passed right by each other without touching. I lost hope as I was hit right in the face and fell back several feet to the ground. The ball I threw went just to the right of Jong-un.


"Looks like your training paid off, honey," Rodman said to Jung-un.


"That was easier than I expected!" Jong-un said as he started laughing. "Now we can trury unreash the power of the Brue Men!"


Glass shattered and fell to the floor all around me. I looked around to see black ropes drop from the ceiling.


"Gormley surprise!" A deep voice shouted from above and filled the stadium.


Six men in black uniforms repelled from the roof into the arena. They were armed and clearly ready to fight. Their feet hit the ground one after the other. The Korean People's Army immediately started towards them out of the darkness. An epic battle began.


I got up and ran to help my friends. The Rock and Bruce Willis were greatful as I picked the locks on their handcuffs. I looked towards center court where bodies were flying all over the place. Sylverster Stallone was pumping bullets towards the crowd of the North Korean miliary. Jet Li was doing awesome flips and breaking necks. Chuck Norris was roundhouse kicking left and right. Terry Crews was unloading his shotgun and being hilarious. Jason Stathom was using a chair to trip the bad guys. Wesley Snipes was doing sword tricks. I didn't know why he was there.


More North Koreans started coming out of the visitors side when a giant explosion blew through the arena. The action stopped and everyone looked towards the rubble. A grinding sound was afoot.


"Sorry I'm late for the pahty." A gigantic tank rolled over the bodies onto the basketball court with a man smoking a cigar behind the wheel.




Arnold Schwarzenegger aimed the tank gun at the rest of the North Koreans. They all put their weapons on the floor and put their hands up. The music stopped and Terry Crews led Jong-Un and Dennis Rodman out to center court with his shotgun pointed at them. Arnold climbed out of the tank and walked over to me.


"It's great to meet you Mr. Gormley," Arnold stuck out his hand. I shook it and he quickly pulled away. "Oww, not so tight!"


"How did you guys get here?" I asked the group.


"You brought us here," Wesley Snipes said. Everyone in the group gave him an angry stare and he quickly shut up, suspiciously.


"What should we do with them?" Stallone asked me. I looked at both Rodman and Jong-Un.


"Why did you kidnap the Blue Men?" I asked The Great Leader. "Why are they so important? Their show is great the first time you see it but it's just the same every other time."


"You really don't know?" Dennis Rodman answered. His tattoos and piercings made him look like a walking circus from the fourth dimension.


At that moment the arena erupted in the most popular dance song of 2013. Gangnam Style started blasting over the speakers. The singer, Psy, danced out onto the basketball court straight for us. He moved quickly towards Terry Crews and dance-punched the shotgun out of his hands.




"Let my leader go!" He ordered us. Stallone started laughing and pointed his MP5 right at him.


"Is this guy serious?" Stallone pulled the trigger and bullets started flying towards the tiny man. He danced so fast Stallone couldn't connect. He slid on the floor and dance-kicked Stallone right between the legs, immobilizing him.


"What the shit!" Jason Statham was impressed. The gang emptied their clips on him. But he moved so fast that not one bullet could touch him. He must've been practicing his dance-fighting for years.


"WAIT!" I stopped them. "He's mine." I quickly stretched my arms and legs and started towards him.


"I saw your commercial," Psy said to me. "I voted for the violin girl!" He crossed his arms and performed the horse dance from his music video. "Gangnam Style!"


I looked back and the team looked defeated. I assumed they had never seen dance moves like this before. And then I began tapping my foot.


Psy kept going, spinning around and moving his legs just like he had done over two billion times on YouTube. A very impressive number. But this wasn't my first rodeo. My legs started moving lightly, slowly getting faster and faster.


"I knew you were from the bad Korea!" I was moving faster and faster, while somehow staying in place. Psy began losing momentum. He was getting sucked into my dance just as I thought he would. I looked back and smiled at my team, giving them hope.


"Your moves...." Psy was almost speechless. He stopped dancing completely and stared right at my legs, which were almost in full force.


"His legs!" Terry Crews shouted excitedly, his eyes widened. "They look like spaghetti!"


The floor below me started to light up, quickly getting brighter and brighter. "Look away guys!" I instructed them. Psy was fully hypnotized by my dance moves. I had him just where I wanted him.


"You're a One-hit wonder, Puh-Sy," I got ready for my final move. His eyes were focused on my right leg. "I don't even know how to pronounce your name!" I kicked out my foot and pulled it back so fast it couldn't be seen by the naked eye. A crack echoed from Psy's neck. He went down just as the song finished. I walked over and looked down at him.


"That...was...beautiful...." He looked up at me, paralyzed. A tear rolled down his cheek. "You must teach me the spaghetti dance."


"I don't think you'll be dancing again anytime soon, Puh-Sy. It's a bit out of your league anyway." My concentration went back to the elephant in the room. The plump North Korean controlling millions of people.


"What should we do with him?" Chuck Norris pointed his gun at Dennis Rodman. Stallone had recovered and was on his way back down the stands with The Blue Man Group.


"Before we continue," I started, "What is this all about? Why are the Blue Men so important? And what does this have to do with Adam Sandler?"


"Adam Sandrer?" Jong-Un got excited. "I rove Adam Sandrer! I have a correction of every movie he has! Have you seen his new movie, Brended? It's about him and Drew Barrymore, they fall in rove in Africa and-"


The Rock ran over and slapped him across the face. "The Rock doesn't care about that jabroni!" He bent down, grabbed Jong-Un by the throat, pushed his legs against the floor, lifting them both into the air, and Rock-Bottomed him hard against the wooden basketball court.




Dennis Rodman started screaming and crying. It was hilarious. Chuck Norris kept his gun pointed at him. "Don't move, freakshow, or you'll get a fist of fury from the Texas Ranger."


"I can't take this bitch!" Terry Crews walked up behind him and bashed him in the back of his head with his shotgun. He fell to the floor, out cold.


"We'll take him back to face justice the American way," I said to the guys.


"A chair to the face?" Jason Statham asked.


"A good old-fashioned roundhouse kick?" Chuck Norris asked.


"Release him into the jungle with Charlie?" Sylvester Stallone asked.


"Let him get bit by a vampire?" Wesley Snipes asked. Everyone stared at him. "You know, like from Blade?" I still didn't know what he was doing here.


"In a courtroom on charges of treason," I answered them. Dennis Rodman was crazy but he didn't deserve to die. Terry Crews handed me his shotgun. Only Jong-Un was left to deal with.


"Prease, Mista Gormrey," he was barely able to get up and cower in front of me.


"Now you, on the other hand," I aimed the shotgun at his head, "are going to face justice the North Korean way."


"Mista Gormrey, I can give you anthing you want. Gold? DVD's? How about some hair suppries for your girlfriend?" His last hope at saving himself.


"No thanks," I cocked the shotgun. "I'm single." I pulled the trigger and blasted his memories all over the floor in front of me, ending the struggle of a country that had been through so much torture and anguish.


Cheering and high-fives exploded behind me. "You just got terminated!" Arnold yelled. Everyone was excited.


The Blue Men were applauding their rescue to safey. We all turned to them as they stopped clapping. The middle one's cheeks were full and puffed out. The other two placed a small table in front of him. He slowly spit out a giant glob of marshmallows onto the table. It had to be 16 inches tall. I looked around, confused. I got the same looks back at me. We all slowly and quietly clapped. The three of them walked for the exit of the basketball arena, motioning me to follow.


"You go with them," Sly Stallone encouraged. "We'll take care of this mess."


I left them to handcuff and secure the rest of the North Koreans. Dennis Rodman had awoken and was holding his head, crying. The Blue Men led me out of the stadium, silently.


"Where are we going?" I asked them as I followed behind. The three of them turned their heads around and stared at me with their eyes wide while continuing walking forward.




It was super creepy. They turned their heads back to the front and continued. I tried to break the silence with some smalltalk. "So have you guys tried wearing other colors? Like red or green or something?" Again they turned their heads around and stared.




We were at the exit and on our way out through the parking lot. A body lied face up on the ground as we passed. It was Mel Gibson. Apparenly he didn't make it. Boy were cars small in North Korea. Our short journey ended in a field just next to the parking lot. The Blue Men seperated into a large circle, or since there were only three of them, it could've been a triangle. Whatever. They were about 25 feet away from each other. Their eyes closed and the three of them began humming simultaneously. The humming grew louder and louder as their heads tilted up towards the sky. They did this for about ten seconds before I thought they would be great as an a cappella group. They truly were fantastic. And somehow they were always on cue.


I looked up and saw a tiny circular object, rapidly getting larger and larger. The shiny craft was coming right for us! "Get out of the way!" I yelled at them. Then I realized they were calling it with their humming, obviously. The craft landed right between them and they stopped humming. The Blue Men walked over to me.


"Mr. Gormley," the one of the right said, "We know who you are. We know you won the contest and passed the test."


"How come you guys don't talk more often?"


"And we thank you for saving us from The Great Leader and his wife," the one in the middle said. "The test was set up to find us our protector. You see, we are not like you."


"No one's like me," I interrupted his explanation to all of this. "But why does my government think you guys are so important?"


They turned their heads and and looked at the U.F.O. behind them. Then looked back at me.


"Ohhhhh, you guys are aliens, I get it." I finally got it.


"Actually, to us you are the alien," the left Blue Man said.


"Ooooo, that makes ya think, doesn't it," these guys are deep. "So what's with the whole Blue Man Group thing? You guys travel lightyears to play bongos and throw toilet paper at people?"


"There was a space war in our galaxy and we had to leave before our planet was destroyed."


"So you guys are deserters?"


"We came here to find help. Our civilization is not strong enough to fight against our enemy. And your government has been helping us with new weaponry since we first landed in 1947."


"So you guys are like... 50?"


"We don't age or keep track of our age," the one on the right went on. "We then created the Blue Man Group because your goverment stopped paying our bills. There was nothing else we could teach them and they pretty much kicked us out onto the streets. We thought that being blue was a pretty good gimmick to start our own show. Once they heard we were captured and taken here, they didn't want North Korea to learn their military secrets. Obviously."


"Obviously," I replied. "You guys sure covered everything there. This all makes sense! So what now?"


"We kept this spaceship as a last resort. It's been up there for over 60 of your Earth years. We are going to have to look somewhere else for help."


"Well, then.... Good luck! I loved your show, thought it was hilarious."


"We didn't. We don't have comedy on our planet and do not understand humor. We didn't write the acts."


"Oh yea?" I got excited. "How about this one? The other day.... I got tooth floss stuck in my teeth."


A short pause occured between the four of us. Then the Blue Man on the right started laughing loudly and violently. The other two looked at him, confused.


"Ahaha, because you normally use tooth floss to get food out of your teeth!" He said, laughing in between words. "But you can't because it's stuck in there! What will you use to get it out!"


The other two looked at eachother and began laughing uncontrollably. It went on for a few minutes. I was happy to help.


Two parachutes were dropping from the sky above us, one much faster than the other. It looked as if one was slightly tangled, getting closer and closer until I could hear him.


"Ahhhhhhhh!" The skyjumper landed loudly on the ground and fell over ten yards away from us. The Blue Men and I looked over as he got up and started walking towards us. He got closer and we all recognized him.


"Now that's what I call a close encounter," an ageing Will Smith said as he stuck out his hand in greeting. "I'm Agent J with the Men In Black."


"Uh-oh," I said playfully as I shook his hand. "You're not here to nueralyze us are you?"


He pulled out a neuralyzer, the mind erasing device from Men In Black.


"Nahhh, haha," he laughed, "I'm just playin'." He turned his head and looked up into the sky towards the next skyjumper. "Hey, yo Tyson!" I grabbed the nueralyzer from his hand and examined it for a second before putting it in my pocket.


The second parachute landed swiftly and pleasantly on the ground. A larger man looked around at the spaceship and aliens before walking over, smiling. "Hello," he said happily. I knew who he was. "I'm Neil DeGrasse Tyson."




It was Neil Degrasse Tyson, astrophysicist and host of Fox's Cosmos. "I know who you are, I love the show! I almost watched four episodes earlier this year!"


"Thanks, I voted for you six times in that contest. You can call me Tyson."


"That's funny Tyson, I never even voted."


"So where we off to?" Will Smith asked the Blue Men.


"Wait," I said. "You guys are going with them?"


"Of course we are, Mark," Tyson said. "We are getting a chance to explorse the universe. Aren't you coming?"


"Umm... Yeah, obviously I'm coming." The Blue Men clapped their hands twice and the door to the spaceship opened. I looked over at Will Smith. "Where's your son, Jaden?"


"I left him in the car when I left Miami a few hours ago." It was the middle of the summer.


"I'm sure he's fine," I ensured him. We began our way into the spaceship when gunshots started again from the stadium. We all turned our heads to see The Rock running straight toward us.


"Runnnn!" He sprinted for the spaceship. The six of us stood there watching him. He reached us in a matter of seconds. He sure was fast. "We have to get out of here right now! Dennis Rodman disarmed everyone and took control! He's holding the Expendables prisoner! What the hell is this thing?"


"It's a spaceship The Rock," I answered. "Let's get out of here, boys." We entered into the ship and the Blue Men took control.


"Hey, Will. What are you doing here?" The Rock asked.


"The Blue Men asked me to come. They really liked The Fresh Prince apparently."


"I thought you guys didn't get comedy," I said for everyone to hear.


"We don't," a Blue Man said. "We really liked the costumes he wore on the show."


"And I'm here because I have been studying alien life almost my entire life," Tyson explained to everyone.


"It doesn't matter what you've been studying!" The Rock yelled loudly at Tyson. "I'm just kidding. Hi, I'm The Rock. Nice to meet you."


Before I was able to look around and investigate all the strange surroundings, the Blue Men told us to prepare for launch.


"Prepare for launch," they all said at once. We all sat down and strapped ourselves in. There was a 360 degree view outside the spaceship. It appeared to be a window that wasn't made of glass. We could see Dennis Rodman getting closer, holding a weapon.


"You're going to pay for what you did to my husband!" He yelled at us, firing at the ship.


"We must leave now," one Blue Man said to another. "We don't have defenses for Earth bullets."


"Hold on!" The other Blue Man said as emotionally as he could. His arm slammed down on the launch buttton and we were instantly going over 1,000 mph straight up into the sky. The gravitational force was not good for Tyson's wrinkly skin. He looked like he was melting. The clouds were zipping by us. We got faster and faster. Tyson passed out. Then Will Smith passed out. Then The Rock. We were all strapped in yet somehow the Blue Men were walking around the ship as if it wasn't even moving. The three of them had their eyes on me. I knew I was about to go under as well. My jaw was slowly dropping. It felt like I was being pulled apart. Outside the window it got darker and darker until I could see stars. Outside. We were in space! I passed out.