April 18, 2018


City's New 'Cat Cafe' Surrounded By Dogs


"I just assumed he wanted coffee."


Last Thursday, the city's first 'Cat Cafe' opened, where customers pay $15 an hour to pet, talk to, and drink coffee with their furry little feline friends. Up until its opening, cat enthusiasts could barely hold their excitement, since cat people don't get out much.


"My favorite part was going to see the cats," said Becky Chung, an Asian cat lover. "I love cats!"


Becky lives up the street and went to ''Purr' Cat Cafe' a record 3 times a day in its first week. But after that first week, things started to change.


"And then dogs started showing up!" Ms. Chung angrily shouted. "I used to eat dogs, eww!"


Unfortunately for Becky, Owner Cindy Doppleganger didn't realize there was a dog park nearby. When she opened, the first week was great:


"The first week was great. Plenty of quirky customers, the kitties loved it! Especially Buttons, whose owner was hit by a FedEx truck." Doppleganger said. "Then one day there were two dogs waiting outside. Then four. Then eight. Then 17, including his owner."


"I just assumed he wanted coffee," said Doug, one of the dog's owners.


The sidewalk, covered in poo, hasnt seen any new customers in two weeks.


"We're thinking of closing down, but we haven't gotten any bills," said Doppleganger.

"The mailman hasn't been by in two weeks!"


-Mark Gormley