April 29, 2018


Thinking About Life and the Mysteries of the Universe,

Man Walks Into Pole


"I felt like such an idiot."


"I felt like such an idiot."


38-year-old Tim Mooney has been walking to the bus every day for nearly 6 years. He works in an office downtown, and has recently been second-guessing all of his life decisions.


"I thought, should I have married her? What if I never took this job? Would anyone care if I died? Then BANG, walked right into it."


Mooney described exactly what he was thinking, when he wasn't thinking when he walked right into a street pole.


"I looked around and luckily no one saw. That would've been super embarassing."


Uma Glassville witnessed the incident. "That guy is never paying attention." She recalls. "He walks the same way to work every morning, and is clearly spaced out. Just the other day he walked into ME and spilled my coffee."


Mooney admits he drifts off sometimes. "I can't stop thinking about what's after us, like humans. Or before. Or like, what would happened if I were never born."


"I'd have a fresh coffee." Uma jokes.


-Mark Gormley