movies

One-sentence movie reviews.

(Date reviewed under title)


 

Kick-Ass 2

August 31, 2013

 

This ridiculous sequel where they are all still in high school made me rethink why I liked the first one so much.

 

Rating:

two


 

R.I.P.D.

August 31, 2013

 

It was like MIB II had an abortion.

 

Rating:

two


 

We're the Millers

August 31, 2013

 

Jason Sudeikis should be in more movies.

 

Rating:

three


 

Grown Ups 2

August 2, 2013

 

Shaq made me laugh a couple times in another generally unfunny Adam Sandler movie.

 

Rating:

two


 

Monsters University

August 2, 2013

 

The only thing better is Toy Story 3.

 

Rating:

five


 

Scary Movie 5

August 2, 2013

 

I felt dumb for watching this and am embarrassed for saying that I did.

 

Rating:

one


 

Only God Forgives

July 22, 2013

 

Artsy camera angles don't save this violent borefest.

 

Rating:

two


 

World War Z

July 8, 2013

 

I haven't read the book and I don't give a shit that you have.

 

Rating:

four


 

White House Down

July 8, 2013

 

A comedic fantasy version of Olympus Has Fallen filled with corny lines and Jamie Foxx as president.

 

Rating:

two


 

Olympus Has Fallen

July 8, 2013

 

A serious action version of White House Down filled with swear words, killing and a darn good opening battle sequence.

 

Rating:

three


 

Jack the Giant Slayer

July 8, 2013

 

I think it was the special effects that made me kind of like this movie.

 

Rating:

three


 

42

July 8, 2013

 

A fictional story about racism in a sport filled with African Americans will win the heart over any sports fan.

 

Rating:

four


 

The Purge

July 8, 2013

 

There are just too many reasons why this doesn't make any sense.

 

Rating:

two


 

Man of Steel

June 14, 2013

 

If this movie had any more special effects, it would be Transformers.

 

Rating:

three


 

This Is the End

June 12, 2013

 

This is the end of me doubting that the Seth Rogen crew is funny.

 

Rating:

four


 

Now You See Me

May 31, 2013

 

Most will wish they did not see you.

 

Rating:

three


 

After Earth

May 31, 2013

 

I hated every second of Jaden Smith in one of the dumbest movies ever made.

 

Rating:

one


 

The Hangover Part III

May 23, 2013

 

Few will miss this series.

 

Rating:

three


 

Fast & Furious 6

May 24, 2013

 

Too much unrealistic silliness and violence (WHOOOOOMMMPPP).

 

Rating:

three


 

Star Trek Into Darkness

May 16, 2013

 

Filled with great explosions, a good but sometimes predictable story, and just the right amount of funny.

 

Rating:

four


 

Iron Man 3 3D

May 3, 2013

 

It's the best superhero movie outside of Batman and it saved 3D for me.

 

Rating:

five


 

Oblivion

April 19, 2013

 

Crazy special effects and great sci-fi story.

 

Rating:

four


 

G.I. Joe: Retaliation

March 28, 2013

 

The Rock has turned G.I. Joe into a much more serious action series.

 

Rating:

three


 

The Host

March 29, 2013

 

A new kind of boring.

 

Rating:

onestar


 

Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas Thing

November 4, 2011

 

It's like the other ones but with a baby that does cocaine.

NOTE: Did not see in 3D.

 

Rating:

three


 

Moneyball

September 23, 2011

 

If you like baseball and you like movies, this is a good movie about baseball.

 

Rating:

four


 

Drive

September 16, 2011

 

Thinking this was going to be a boring love story, I was happily suprised to find it has some really violent scenes!

 

Rating:

4


 

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol

December 18, 2011

 

Even without Ving Rhames, it's the best since the original.

 

Rating:

four


 

Immortals

November 11, 2011

 

I was playing on my iphone for most of it but my partner at work said it was alright.

 

Rating:

three


 

Tower Heist

November 4, 2011

 

Why does Téa Leoni look like she was stung by a bee and when will Eddie Murphy be cool again?

 

Rating:

2 stars


 

In Time

October 28, 2011

 

This TIME, JT plays a stud in a movie that isn't as good as it could be.

 

Rating:

2 stars


 

Source Code

April 1, 2011

 

Makes no sense.

 

Rating:

3


 

Limitless

March 18, 2011

 

Even though it is BS that we only use 20% of our brains, this movie is still good enough to watch.

 

Rating:


 

Battle: Los Angeles

March 11, 2011

 

Would be better if the aliens weren't so stupid looking.

 

Rating:

3


 

The Adjustment Bureau

March 4, 2011

 

Dark City meets Good Will Hunting.

 

Rating:

3


 

Paul

March 18, 2011

 

I expected more from my favorite comedy duo.

 

Rating:

3


 

Justin Bieber: Never Say Never

February 11, 2011

 

I made it all the way to the parking lot.

 

Rating:

0


 

Unknown

February 18, 2011

 

Not quite as good as Taken, but still pretty good.

 

Rating:

4


 

The Mechanic

January 28, 2011

 

Besides Jason Statham, there is nothing good about this movie.

PS - I just realized I forgot to put Jason Statham in the movie collage up on top of the page. That was a mistake. I consider him to be seriously badass.

PPS - I also just realized I forgot to put The Rock in there too. I might have to do the collage all over again.

UPDATE: Fixed! Now with 10 more badasses!

 

Rating:

w


 

The Green Hornet

January 14, 2011

 

Although there are some funny scenes and decent explosions, this superhero flick is predictable and average.

 

Rating:

three


 

The Company Men

January 21, 2011

 

For the parts I was paying attention, this was both boring and depressing.

 

Rating:

2


 

Tron: Legacy

December 17, 2010

 

With a budget of $300,000,000, the 3D developers put young Jeff Bridges against old Jeff Bridges in a world filled with pretty lights.

 

Rating:

4


 

127 Hours

November 5, 2010

 

Everyone's worst fear acted out by James Franco.

 

Rating:

4 explosions


 

True Grit

December 22, 2010

 

Its weird to see Matt Damon as a cowboy.

 

Rating:

4


 

The Fighter

December 17, 2010

 

Cristian Bale does a damn good job playing a crackhead.

 

Rating:

5


 

Little Fockers

December 22, 2010

 

They are back with pretty much the same jokes and a few new actors who apparently had nothing better to do.

 

Rating:

3


 

Black Swan

December 3, 2010

 

The dude that made Requiem for a Dream makes a movie about ballet.

 

Rating:

three


 

Unstoppable

November 12, 2010

 

A decent movie about Denzel Washing trying to stop a train, Unstoppable is about as good as it looked in the commercials.

 

Rating:

3 explosions


 

Skyline

November 12, 2010

 

Some disturbing and unforgettable scenes can't stop this alien abduction movie from sucking.

 

Rating:

2explosions


 

Buried

September 24, 2010

 

Watching an hour and a half of Ryan Reynolds stuck in a box is much more entertaining than it sounds.

 

Rating:

4explosions


 

The Town

September 17, 2010

 

Ben Affleck actually does a great job in this Boston bank robbery flick filled with some great action scenes.

 

Rating:

5explosions